|206: The Love Bug
||[Dec. 22nd, 2006|09:15 am]
Felicity: We know midterms can be really overwhelming so if you guys need anything don’t hesitate to ask myself or Meghan.
Meghan: As long as it’s nothing stupid.
Meghan: What?! We have midterms, too.
Felicity: Okay so are there, uh, any other questions? Yes.
Carl: What if we get sick during midterms?
Meghan: Just don’t.
Felicity: Um, if you’re feeling sick I would start taking vitamins now. But if you mean will your professors feel sorry for you and let you turn your papers in late, no.
Meghan: I want to take a vote. Who here thinks we have too many of these meetings?
Everyone: Yeah. Me. Here, here.
Felicity: Okay. Well I guess that’s it. Good luck on your midterms and…
Carl: Excuse me. I have another question about my health.
Meghan: What is it now? Botulism?
Carl: What does mono feel like?
Meghan: Like anyone would kiss you.
Felicity: Um…well I’m not really sure. I’ve never had mono.
Girl: I have. You know it when you’ve got it. You get a fever, you get sweaty, exhausted. You can’t even get up. It’s horrible.
Felicity: Carl, I’m sure you don’t have mono, um, you probably wouldn’t even be able to stand up right now.
Meghan: Meeting over.
Felicity: Dear Sally, okay, why hasn’t David kissed me? We had dinner twice last week, saw a movie, we talk on the phone every day. You think it’s the ex–girlfriend thing? That he was so hurt he doesn’t want to get involved again? I hope not.
David: Want to get lunch tomorrow?
David: With me is the catch.
Felicity: Still yes.
David: Okay…I’ll call you tomorrow.
Elena: So what’s up with new guy?
Elena: I’m calling him “new guy.”
Felicity: I’m actually really confused about things with new guy.
Noel: You hear about this tuff on the news everyday.
Ruby: You’re so overreacting.
Elena: To what?
Ruby: Hi, it’s so – Nothing. It’s stupid.
Noel: No. We’re walkin’ through the park and this, this shifty–looking guy approaches.
Ruby: He was so not shifty–looking. He had a briefcase.
Noel: Yeah, like, a worn one, like a used killer’s briefcase. And then he says to Ruby, and I don’t know how he did this with a straight face except that I have a feeling he was a killer, “You want to audition for a movie?”
Julie: God, that’s amazing.
Julie: So what is it?
Felicity: Yeah, sis they tell you what movie it was?
Ruby: Mmm. He said it was like, classified, or…
Noel: Uh–huh, yeah, which is convenient, right?
Ruby: He said he would give me the detail’s when I called, which I’m not even gonna do. Is anyone eating this grapefruit?
Elena: You are not gonna put that on your Lucky Charms.
Felicity: How could you not call? I’d be so curious.
Ruby: If it wasn’t midterms maybe I would.
Julie: So did he give you a card or something?
Julie: Oh, this looks totally legit. Doesn’t it?
Elena: You gotta call.
Ruby: I’d never get it, whatever it is.
Noel: Hey, guys, where are the bagels?
Elena: In my stomach.
Felicity: I put the rest of them in the cupboard.
Elena: Oh, wait, new guy stories.
Ruby: Oh, what is this about, a new boyfriend?
Felicity: Um, it’s just really weird. This guys that I’ve been hanging out with, um, he just –
Julie: Won’t make a move?
Ruby: Has he kissed you?
Felicity: Not yet.
Elena: Yet/ But do you want him to, that’s the question.
Noel: What are you guys talking about, that movie guy, huh? What’s goin’ on? Oh, is this girl talk? Have I been disinvited?
Felicity: The, uh, answer to your question is definitely.
Noel: Oh, good. Thank you, thank you. Inclusiveness, that’s good. I feel…it’s my apartment.
Maggie: Remember to keep the swirls tight. And don’t let any air in the bag. All right? Can you finish the tray?
Maggie: Thank you. Hello, Maggie’s Catering. (Speaks Japanese)
Ben: Great. Now I gotta learn Japanese.
Ben: Yeah, I told the guy out there I was a friend of yours and he just let me come on back here, so I don’t know, I guess you oughta fire him.
Maggie: Suzanne, will you do me a favor? Uh, go by the office and call Mrs. Winters and let her know that we’re probably on for the 16th.
Suzanne: Yeah. Mrs. Winters.
Maggie: Yes. Thank you.
Ben: Do you, uh, do you speak a lot of languages? Because I don’t know, I still haven’t mastered English yet.
Maggie: I lived in Tokyo for a couple of years. What are you doing here?
Ben: Do I need a reason to come see you?
Maggie: Well, this is my work. I need to maintain a professional mage in front of my employees.
Ben: Oh. Okay.
Maggie: Oh, I’m kissing a college boy. Oh.
Ben: You know, you really got to get over this age thing because if I were older and you were younger no one would think twice about it.
Suzanne: Mrs. Winter’s number isn’t in the computer.
Maggie: Um, check the Rolodex. It’s by the phone.
Maggie: I can’t have you here. Not now.
Meghan: Fire. Clammy.
Felicity: Are you all right?
Meghan: I have mono.
David: Oh, my God.
David: I know a guy who had mono fro 7 months.
Felicity: You’re kidding.
Meghan: Kill me.
David: I’m not a hypochondriac, but I have serious beliefs that everything is airborne and you cannot sleep in here tonight.
Felicity: Well I don’t really have a choice. I’m an R.A.
David: If you feel like that you can’t help anybody anyway. Stay at my place.
David: You can’t stay here.
Noel: Hey, so, she called the killer.
Noel: Ruby. She called the killer from the movie studio and now they’re sending, uh, over sides, whatever those are. Hi.
Felicity: David, uh, this is Noel.
David: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Felicity: Meghan has mono.
Noel: Oh, God, I had mono freshman year.
Felicity: Was it bad?
Noel: Well, it wasn’t good.
David: Okay, Felicity, stay at my apartment tonight, please.
Felicity: Okay, thanks.
David: Good. Call me later and I’ll meet you there after work.
David: Oh, nice to meet you.
Noel: Yeah, yeah, you, too.
Javier: Okay, so let me get this straight. You are, you are spending the night at this guy’s apartment?
Felicity: Yes. He doesn’t want me to get sick.
Javier: Okay, well neither do I, so come stay with me and Samuel, okay. We just got this, this pull out thing. It’s very deluxe. You are not allergic to animals, are you?
Felicity: Javier, I want to stay at David’s place. I like him.
Javier: Okay, well as your friend and also boss, I don’t exactly approve.
Javier: Because it seems like a, like a scheme, like the first excuse to get you into bed. Okay. Dean and DeLuca, this is Javier. And who is this? It’s the man I don’t trust.
Felicity: It’s David?
Javier: No. it’s David.
Felicity: Ha ha. Hello? Hey.
Javier: What’s he saying? Let me guess. Let me guess. Can I guess? Can I guess?
Felicity: No, no, no, I totally understand. Of course. Yeah, um, so I’ll call later. Okay. His apartment is getting fumigated apparently.
Javier: Okay, so come stay with me.
Felicity: No, no, no, I’ll. I’ll figure something out.
Noel: No more.
Noel: Yeah, you do.
Ruby: I should really go study right now.
Noel: Yes, you should.
Ruby: What are you doing out here?
Noel: Oh, uh, Meghan. Meghan has mono. Yeah, uh–huh. I thought you were straying at that guy’s place?
Felicity: Uh, no, that fell through so…
Ruby: Well can we get you anything?
Felicity: No, no, thanks. I’m fine.
Ruby: You don’t look very comfortable.
Felicity: Oh, no, no, I’m fine.
Ruby: Okay. All right. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?
Noel: Okay. Breakfast.
Ruby: Okay. Bye.
Noel: So are you sure you’re, uh…
Felicity: I swear to God I’m fine, unless you want to take my art history midterm for me.
Noel: No, thanks. Good night.
Felicity: Good night.
Noel: Um, so, listen, uh, does, does Ruby know about us?
Felicity: Um, I didn’t say anything.
Noel: Because I don’t think she does.
Felicity: So why don’t you tell her?
Noel: Well, I would, uh, but it’s, it’s the very early stages, you know? It’s a very seminal time, you know? That was a horrible word to describe that.
Felicity: Um, well, she did come to me and tell me what a good kisser you are. But that was a couple of weeks ago.
Noel: She said that? But you didn’t say anything?
Felicity: Well, maybe I should have, but I didn’t want to embarrass her.
Noel: No, well, look, don’t, okay? I, I mean, don’t say anything. I will. Um, it’s just that the ex–girlfriend–boyfriend discussion hasn’t, uh, come up, and I don’t, I don’t want to seem, uh…
Noel: I just didn’t want to bring it up.
Noel: I don’t know. This is stupid. Will you please come stay at our place?
Felicity: You know, this is actually pretty comfortable.
Noel: Okay, uh, well then I will see you later.
Felicity: All right. I’ll see you later.
Elena: I’m your friend so I can say somethin’ like this to you. You look like you’ve been hit in the face…twice.
Felicity: God, I wish I were asleep right now.
Elena: Maybe you’ve got mono.
Felicity: I don’t have mono. I have exhaustion.
Javier: Am I completely the best boss in the world, yes?
Javier: You look like the bottom of the cappuccino machine when we, we clean it out at night. Disgusting.
Elena: What happened to your knight in shining apartment?
Felicity: He, uh, he said his place was getting fumigated.
Elena: Hmm. And you bought that?
Felicity: Not particularly.
Elena: Sounds like Guy B.S. 101.
Javier: B.S.? Boy shenanigans? Is that what that –
Felicity: Really? That’s what I thought, too. Oh my God. He’s here.
Felicity: David, hey. Uh, this, this is Elena.
Felicity: And, uh, Javier.
Javier: Hello, you. Uh, excuse me, I have to um, dust the scones.
Elena: And I’ll, I’ll be right back.
David: Uh, here’s the prints I told you about.
Felicity: Oh, I can’t wait to see them.
David: If you get a chance. I would love to hear your opinion.
David: Uh, so this class I’m teaching tonight, I – uh, okay, like I was saying, this class, I want to blow it off and take you to dinner. I know it’s midterms. You gotta eat, though, right?
Felicity: Is your apartment really being fumigated?
David: Oh my God. You think I’m a liar. No, no, you need proof. Okay, fine. I will tell you what, we will get dinner tonight and then I’ll take you to the building and show you.
Felicity: You got it.
Noel: I thought you trusted me more than this.
Ruby: I’m so sorry. God, Charlie, I’m so sorry.
Noel: Uh, “I’ve got news for you. Next time you wanta hire a detective, don’t, don’t find him in the yellow pages.”
Ruby: “I don’t know what to say.”
Noel: “Then don’t say anything.” I can’t understand that. Oh, then it says we kiss.
Ruby: Oh. Mmm. Oh, I can’t do this.
Noel: Are you crazy? No, look, I know I was a little hesitant at first, but this part could pay for college and grad school.
Ruby: This is so embarrassing.
Noel: What’s the worst that could happen?
Ruby: They could videotape me and then they watch it. Okay, this doesn’t seem real to me.
Noel: Really? ‘Cause I thought, I thought this part seemed kinda real.
Noel: Look, I know they, they made you promise not to tell, but, uh, who’s in the movie? Who’s playin’ Charlie?
Ruby: I can’t tell you. I’m sorry. They made me sign these non–disclosure agreements. They’re insane.
Noel: Come on, it’s okay.
Ruby: I can’t!
Noel: All right. Um, but if you get the part…
Ruby: Then I’ll tell you.
Noel: Okay, then I’m good.
Felicity: Come in!
Ruby: Hi. Do you have a second?
Meghan: Come in. Take a load off. Have some pie.
Felicity: Don’t mind her. She’ just delirious from mono.
Ruby: Oh. Um, this is, this is so embarrassing.
Ruby: Well. Okay, the stuff that we talked about at the first R.A. meeting, I, I just wasn’t listening because it didn’t really apply.
Felicity: What was it?
Ruby: I need to get a diaphragm. Did you say health services was the way to go?
Ruby: Okay, ‘cause I was on the pill for a while and it made me so bloated and just…not that you care what Noel and I do, right?
Felicity: Yeah. I mean as, as long as you’re safe. Just remember that the pill and diaphragm don’t protect you from STDs so…
Ruby: Oh, I know. So where are you going?
Felicity: Actually, I’m, I’m gonna go stay at Noel and Elena’s place for a few days.
Meghan: Till I die.
Ruby: You and Noel are really good friends, huh?
Felicity: Yeah, I mean, I, I guess we kind of are. Um, you know, I should really kind of get going.
Ruby: How come you never went out with him?
Meghan: It was an accident.
Ruby: Oh my God. We should get out.
Felicity: Oh you should open that box of photos he gave me. Do you think this is a little too dressy?
Elena: What are you going for, 1 to 10?
Felicity: Um, well, I’m just supposed to be studying so I guess a 3?
Elena: 3? That’s a 6.
Felicity: A 3? Really? Okay.
Elena: Damn! New guy’s talented, too?
Felicity: I know. But he still hasn’t kissed me yet.
Elena: Oh, bad timing, that’s all. Tonight’s the night.
Felicity: You think? What about this?
Elena: That’s a 4. Keep it.
Felicity: Good. With a little sweater on it.
Elena: Hmm. You’re in trouble.
Noel: What happened?
Felicity: You still haven’t told her.
Noel: Uh, who? What? Oh, Ruby, about is. No, no. Who cares?
Felicity: I care. I’m her R.A. She comes to me with issues and questions. And, you know, you asked me not to say anything, so I didn’t, but it’s getting really uncomfortable.
Noel: I swear to God I’ll tell her. You know, I’ll tell her tonight.
Felicity: You better.
Noel: Hey, these are great.
Elena: New guy took ‘em.
Noel: Really, that, that, uh, David guy?
Noel: Why are you all dressed up?
Elena: Don’t listen to him.
Noel: Okay, so what’s going on with you guys? If you don’t mind my asking.
Felicity: Um, well, nothing. I mean, we’re just kind of in the beginning stages.
Noel: Okay. You’re not, you’re not even gonna ask about me and Ruby?
Felicity: Hello! I know about you and Ruby.
Elena: She came and asked Felicity where to get a diaphragm.
Elena: What? He’ll find out soon enough.
Noel: Oh my God. She asked you where to get a diaphragm?
Felicity: Yeah, so you can see why it’s a little uncomfortable for me.
Noel: Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I’ll. I’ll deal with it. Uh, that’s Ruby. I gotta change.
Elena: Come in!
Ruby: I got a call from the movie studio guy. They moved up my audition. Now it’s tomorrow morning at 10.
Felicity: So you’re gonna do it?
Ruby: I thought it would be a good story to say when I’m like a grandma. I could say, you know, I got his close to getting a part in this huge movie I can’t talk about.
Noel: That, um, confidentiality thing expires eventually, right?
Elena: Where are you non–midterms studying kids off to?
Ruby: I don’t know. What are you in the mood for?
Elena: Besides a low GPA?
Noel: Anything. I’ll get it. David? Uh, nice pictures.
David: Noel, thanks.
Noel: Come on in.
David: Hi. David.
Ruby: Hi. Ruby.
David: Wow! You, you look great.
Ruby: Are you going out tonight, too?
Felicity: Yeah, we’re just gonna go get a quick bite.
Ruby: Why don’t you come with us?
Felicity and Noel: Um…tonight?
Ruby: Why don’t we go downstairs?
David: Epstein–Barr sounds good to me.
Noel: It’s not the best.
Felicity: Uh, you know, it’s up to you.
Noel: Whatever you want, though. It’s your call.
Ruby: Okay, I’m starving.
David: Actually, I am, too.
Felicity and Noel: Really?
Elena: Will the 4 of you go downstairs for dinner, please and leave me alone?
David: Good to see you.
Ruby: Okay, bye.
Noel: Yeah. Let’s go.
Ben: You know, I’m really glad you called me back.
Maggie: I wasn’t going to knowing how this was going to end anyway.
Ben: Oh, you, you know how this is going to end?
Maggie: I’m not just a Japanese–speaking caterer; I am a psychic Japanese–speaking caterer.
Ben: Oh. You know, you might be wrong about that, about the way things end.
Maggie: I wanted to give you a proper good bye.
Ben: Ah, so it was a completely generous thing?
Maggie: No, being here is 100% selfish. I wanted to, to be with you one last time. That’s what this is. Do you understand?
Ben: See, now I’m a little young, so I, I don’t know exactly what that means but…
Maggie: This is it. No more after tonight.
Ben: Unless you’re wrong about how it ends.
Maggie: I’m not wrong.
Ben: Should we, uh, should we go somewhere?
Maggie: Uh, here.
Ben: Here. Uh, where here?
David: Come on, you gotta tell us who’s in the movie.
Ruby: I want to, but they made me promise.
Felicity: Okay, what if we guess? Then will you tell us?
Noel: No, I already tried that.
Ruby: I’m changing the subject. We need new drinks. I’ll get ‘em.
David: I’ll go with you. All right, I’m gonna try to get it out of her.
Noel: Good luck. I’ve been workin’ on her for hours. Not gonna happen.
Felicity: Hmm. She’s nice.
Noel: Yeah. So is David. Seems it.
Noel: Hey, you, uh, you have an eyelash.
Noel: Uh, it’s, um.
Felicity: In this one?
Noel: No, it’s, can I, can I get it?
Noel: Yeah? I got it. There it is. Okay, before you make a wish make sure you got a really good one.
Felicity: All right. What would you wish for?
Noel: I can’t tell you.
Felicity: Sure, you can.
Noel: No, I can’t. Then it won’t come true.
Felicity: But you’re not the one wishing.
Noel: Yeah, I am. I’m always wishing, even in non–eyelash moments. Couldn’t have been true. I’m still here.
Ben: So, uh, do you wanta go get some coffee or somethin’?
Maggie: Ben, I know you think I was kidding, but I wasn’t kidding. This is it.
Ben: Well, this, this can’t be it.
Maggie: This is it.
Maggie: Because I have a company to run and you’ve got midterms.
Ben: Wait a sec, wait a sec. Wait a second. But you like me. I mean, you do.
Maggie: I like sleeping with you.
Ben: Look, let’s just, let’s just go get some coffee, okay?
Maggie: Look, I don’t want this to end in a bad way.
Ben: Well, so don’t end it.
Maggie: We will run into each other, we’ll be polite and it’ll just stay our secret. But this is it. It was really…fun. Take care.
Ruby: Yeah. I’ll be home later. No, go without me.
Noel: Come on.
Noel: Bye, Melissa.
Ruby: Phish Food. Yeah. Okay. Bye.
Noel: Fish food?
Ruby: Oh, it’s an ice cream. Melissa’s going to the store and she wanted to know what kind of ice cream I wanted. It’s my favorite.
Felicity: By the way, I loved the pictures.
David: How about the one of the little girl?
Felicity: Oh, she’s beautiful. It’s just like, aah…
David: She reminded me of you. There is this purity about her, this grace. She’s extraordinary.
Felicity: I’m blushing. I don’t even know why.
Ruby: Mmm, Noel.
Ruby: What did you say?
Ruby: You just said “Felicity.”
Noel: It, it, I wasn’t, it didn’t mean, uh…
Ruby: What’s going on between you two?
Noel: Uh, nothing, nothing. Look–
Ruby: Oh my God.
Noel: No, look, we broke up last year. Now we –
Ruby: So how did it end?
Noel: Look, it’s complicated, okay?
Ruby: She broke up with you.
Noel: Okay, it’s over. That’s all it is. It was, it was a slip. We been hanging out together tonight, her name was–
Ruby: If it’s over, how come you didn’t tell me?
Noel: I was going to.
Ruby: Why didn’t Felicity tell me?
Noel: Because I told her not to, okay?
Ruby: You had discussions about not telling me? And you’re saying it’s over?
Noel: Look, it is, okay? Come on, it doesn’t matter.
Ruby: It does to me. Okay, I went to Felicity and I told her things. I told her that you were a good kisser, I bragged about you. I asked her for birth control advice.
Noel: I know, I do. I–
Ruby: You know? Oh, my God.
Felicity: Ruby, what’s wrong?
Ruby: I wish you would have told me about you and Noel.
Felicity: Um… did he just tell you?
Ruby: Not intentionally.
David: What is she talkin’ about?
Noel: Ruby, listen to me, please, okay?
Ruby: I need your keys. I left some stuff in your apartment.
Noel: Look, I’ll walk you up there, okay?
Ruby: You put me in a really embarrassing position, not telling me the truth.
Noel: Ruby, look–
Ruby: Don’t talk to me.
Felicity: I probably should have told you, too, that Noel and I, well, we used to go out. We, uh, Noel and I are over.
David: Maybe. It’s just so hard to judge something like that so soon after the breakup.
Felicity: Uh, no, no, no, Noel, Noel wasn’t even the guy I was going out with.
David: Then I’m definitely in trouble here. My big concern with us this whole time has been that I’m just not ready to trust someone again. I don’t blame you. I’m not mad at you. This is about me.
David: Yeah. I’m sorry.
Noel: She didn’t want me to come. Where’s David?
Felicity: He left.
Noel: Oh, God.
Felicity: What the hell just happened?
Noel: I said your name when we were kissing. Unconscious thing though, but …Can I say this to you?
Noel: As much as we’ve been through, as much as I feel for you, as much as, uh, as much as I think about you, I really wanted it to work with Ruby.
Felicity: Me, too, with David.
Felicity: Oh. Oh, God.
Noel: Hey, you okay?
Felicity: I think I have mono.
Noel: Real – oh, what?
Felicity: Noel, you’ve already had it.
Noel: Well, I don’t want to get it again.
Elena: What’s goin’ on?
Noel: She has mono.
Elena: I knew it.
Noel: No, Meghan sneezed and I think –
Elena: I cannot get sick during midterms.
Felicity: Can I get a little compassion here?
Elena: Felicity, I feel for you. Really. Get out.
Elena: I love you, but I can’t get sick, not now.
Felicity: I’m with her. I’m sorry. It’s…
Felicity: Thanks for the mono.
Carl: What are you doing here?
Felicity: What are you doing there?
Carl: We both have mono so we had sex.
Meghan: Is that what that was?
Ruby: Can I come in?
Noel: Yeah, please.
Ruby: I like you, which is why I got upset last night. I, I felt embarrassed, and that maybe I was being lead on.
Noel: You’re not.
Ruby: Well, I thought about it and, uh, and I ate a whole container of Phish Food ice cream, and, um. and, I realized that it doesn’t matter. I like being with you and whatever happens, happens.
Noel: Look, the only reason I said her name–
Ruby: Don’t! You don’t need to explain it. You just can’t ever do it again?
Ben: I, I had an idea I wanted to run by you. I thought maybe we could go up to Vermont for the weekend. I, uh, I know a really nice place up there.
Maggie: You’re so cute.
Ben: No, no, cute is patronizing. Let’s go away or the weekend.
Maggie: Ben, I can’t.
Ben: What – is it work? I mean, is there any condition in which you’d say yes?
Ben: See? Okay, so how do we create those conditions?
Suzanne: Maggie, your husband is on line one.
Noel: Are you sure you want to do this?
Ruby: Yeah. Are you?
Noel: Yes, definitely, yes.
Ruby: Do you have anything?
Noel: Yeah, yeah. Hold on. Here.
Ruby: What are you doing?
Noel: Checking the expiration date.
Ruby: Hey, I got some news.
Ruby: I got the part. I, I went in this morning with, um, all that energy from last night and I, I, I…
Noel: You got the part?
Noel: Oh my God. Congratulations!
Ruby: Thanks. I, I leave in 2 days for 3 weeks.
Noel: You’re gonna, you’re gonna be gone for 3 weeks?
Ruby: Yeah, so we’re gonna have to make up for lost time, you know?
Noel: Yeah. Mm–mm–mm, so tell me, uh, who’s, who’s the guy in the movie? Who’s the guy you’re gonna be kissin? Have I heard of him?
Ruby: It’s Tom Cruise.
Ruby: Yeah. I can’t really believe it, either.
Noel: You’re gonna be kissing Tom Cruise? On the, on the lips?
Ruby: Let’s not talk about it, okay?
Noel: But wait…
Ruby: Is this thing expired? No. Excellent.
Felicity: Gotta go out.
Meghan: What? What are you doing?
Felicity: Gotta…go out.
Meghan: Too tired…to insult you.
Felicity: Me, too.
Felicity: Hi. I know it’s late.
David: Look at you.
Felicity: I know. I had to come. Um…a chair would be really good. Thanks. I’m gonna take this off.
Felicity: I’m sorry that you’re not comfortable with this potential relationship because I really want to see where this, us, could go. I mean, I’m not making any promises, or, you know, having any expectations. All I’m saying is if I wasn’t pretty sure that I had mono, I’d grab you and kiss you right now. But you know–
David: So give me mono.